Still

Here I am thinking about you
Wonderin’ why I ever feel so blue
I’ll never know if you will have a clue
That here I am thinking about you

Hoping that I made it very clear
There’s no one that compares to you my dear
Wanna hold you close and whisper in your ear
Hoping I would make it very clear

That I...
I love you still

Someday is what all we have today
Let our love to find another way
But if not then I will have to pray
That someday I wouldn’t ever have to say

That I...
I love you still

Wishes

I wish i didn't close my eyes when we're going through the winding road to Pangasinan.
I wish i let you sleep in my room when you wanted to when we got back from Lupao falls and that night before we go to Isabela.
I wish i didn't left you in bed that morning when i woke up with sore left side. I wish i could've just turn and spoon you instead.
I wish i said 'yes' when you said lets go to that denuded hill.

The big D

Denial...
In the face of reality...
A potion for misery...

Smile

Will i ever see you smile again? I will miss seeing you smile, knowing somehow I'm the reason behind it.

Dreaming awake

I close my eyes to chase that dream before it will be forever erased in my memory.  Only to be awakened by the reality that it's all been but a dream all along.

the real winner

I praise God for the opportunity to know and truly experience great victory and freedom and release last night at a friend's wedding.  The one who hated me with all her guts was there, along with the reason for her to be that upset with me.  God is my true source of strength and power and victory to overcome things that i thought would be too much to handle.  I was relieved when there wasn't any hatred, or jealousy, or anger in me when i saw them and be in approximate distance with them.  I can honestly say that i am victorious and an overcomer through Jesus Christ!

What's bothering me, though, is the fact that if they have really moved on like what a friend told me, then wouldn't it be appropriate that they could approach me and say that everything will be alright now?  That everything has been forgiven, although not forgotten?  That let us leave the former things behind and start being friends again??  But sadly, none whatsoever.  Well, at least for me, i can honestly say that i have moved on, considering the amount of  progress i've made emotionally.

testings

God wasn't the one who identified or gave what testings Job should be going through, but satan. 
God gave satan permission to do whatever it is that he wanted to test Job with as long as it wouldn't involve taking his life.
so satan is the one who chooses what we should go through, to test us if what we declare or confess or believe in is the vital and outmost important in our life. 
satan is the one who tests us if we will still stand on the truth that we are holding and hanging on.
and remember that satan can use anything and anyone, including those people who are close to you on a daily basis, to test you and try you.

hands off

the race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong,

nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant

or favor to the learned;

but time and chance happen to them all.

as fish is caught in a cruel net,

or as birds are taken in a snare,

so men are trapped by evil times that fall unexpectedly upon them.

we may do everything that we needed to do
and be great at it, too.
we may have the best of what life has to offer
making our existence better.
but still, the Sovereignty of the Lord covers over every -little- thing.
God has the final say on what will unfold and happen in our lives.
the important thing is ---
trust God,
let go of the things you have no control of,
and Trust God even more.


Ecclesiastes 9 .

worm-like

No matter how little or insignificant or small you think you are, God wants you to know that He will help you and strengthen you. No matter what you have done in the past or what mistakes you may have committed, God wants you to know that He still choose you and have not rejected you as His servant. 
So do not fear, and do not be dismayed, for God still sits enthroned in heaven. The Lord is in control. 
Isaiah 41.