Not a hopeless romantic

I'm  sorry i can not leave you alone. I just had to e-stalk you and let you know that I'm so proud of you.  But that, somehow, rekindled my feelings for you, the emotions that I'm trying to suppress and bury. And at the back of my mind I'm thinking that it may be a mistake. I've been trying to reconcile what it is that i really feel about you. I cried for you even before we get into a loving relationship. I cried during our relationship. And i cried, and am still crying, even harder now that we have dissolved that relationship. Why can't i seem to let you go? Why does my thoughts drift to you every waking hour? You're on my mind the moment my eyes opened each morning, and  you're my last thoughts at night. Screw this heart that holds the faintest expectation of ever getting back together! I'm so angry with myself for being so dumb and so stupid and so hopelessly inlove! 
...love me again... 

1 stanza

Hindi na muling titibok pa
Ang pusong ito para sa iba
Pagkat pag-ibig na alay
Sa iyo lamang ibibigay.

The chronic misery of an emotion in distress

Why does it seems like every song in the radio nowadays is about break up, heartbreak or melancholy love? Does it mean that there are a lot of broken hearts scattered in the world today? Or does the universe knows what i am going through and that i am currently swimming in the murky puddle created by my tears? I just wanna know, i just want some answers, because there are still a lot of unanswered questions in my mind that demanded some form of response from me every single day. And i thought this heartbreak, this brokeness, would go away in a matter of time...well i guess it hadn't been that long, but surely it must have let up a little. But why does it feels like it was only yesterday when it was inevitably shattered to pieces? And why, for the love of -, my heart still hopes for the one it couldn't,  wouldn't, shouldn't have? And the unending barrage of questions starts to pour out ...and goes on and on unrelenting.