caffeine in my vein

i had never been

truly wide awake

since the last time

i cried because of him

when we inevitably decided to separate.

i am losing blood

for lack of sleep

i am losing sense of time.

i am losing count

of the days

i spent

without him here.

i am flamboyantly over dressed

for this night's shallow hunt.

i am overwhelming 

with sorrowful regrets.

drowning my hatred

with this

double espresso

entwined in my finger.

it would be closing soon.

and i would be left

with the bastard

still running

in my veins.

friend loves at all times

i was on my way to work this morning and i chance upon four elementary school girls on the road in the middle of nowhere. i wondered why aren't they in school. and as i approached them i came to reminisce about my old elementary school days, that was 19 years ago. and me and my friends were just like them in a way. wandering around in the campus (when there's no class), frolicking and just hanging out together..
after all, that's what friends suppose to do, right? hang out together, meet every chance that they have, and spend time..
but it's me that had stripped off of that privilege with my friends. it's my fault we're all drowning in memories past. or is it just me?
i hope there will be time to make amends.
i hope we could all hang out together again.
i hope to seek forgiveness and acceptance..

(from clubs.marist.edu)

testings

God wasn't the one who identified or gave what testings Job should be going through, but satan. 
God gave satan permission to do whatever it is that he wanted to test Job with as long as it wouldn't involve taking his life.
so satan is the one who chooses what we should go through, to test us if what we declare or confess or believe in is the vital and outmost important in our life. 
satan is the one who tests us if we will still stand on the truth that we are holding and hanging on.
and remember that satan can use anything and anyone, including those people who are close to you on a daily basis, to test you and try you.