Until when

When will i not stalk your facebook?

When will i not miss you?

When will i not chase the memories?

Wishes

I wish i didn't close my eyes when we're going through the winding road to Pangasinan.
I wish i let you sleep in my room when you wanted to when we got back from Lupao falls and that night before we go to Isabela.
I wish i didn't left you in bed that morning when i woke up with sore left side. I wish i could've just turn and spoon you instead.
I wish i said 'yes' when you said lets go to that denuded hill.

40-day Habit

They say you could form a sturdy habit in 40 days. They say that when you do something for 40 days straight, you will automatically do it without strain for the next day or so. Well, what I’m trying to find out is, does that mean you could also unlearn the same habit in 40 days? I’m still trying to decide on that, because right now, I’m still in the habit of thinking about you, wondering about how you’re doing, still looking at our pictures, still wanting to hear your voice and see you smile again. And I’m way past the 40 days of unlearning that habit. Even my keypad is not over its habit yet. Every time i will pull it up to type something, the first word it’ll suggest is still ‘Love’. 

Slow process

What am i hoping to accomplish if i would open the communication line with him?

Maybe it’s just depression talking. I breezed through denial, anger and bargaining stages of break up, but it seems like I’m kinda getting stuck in the depression stage of the process. Perhaps I’m just thinking about him a lot, which might be unhealthy for moving on. I hope depression would just commit suicide for acceptance to shine through.