severed ties

is it wrong to severe all ties to your childhood friends?
i know that it is partly my fault that our present situation is as it is.
somehow it doesn't feel right for me to continue with this charade,
and think that everything will be alright.
that everything's going to be fine.
that everything's going to get back to what it once had been.
whenever i see them or talk to them, 
the hurts and pains just come flooding back
and the memory of my past mistake drowning me.
i think detaching from them would be for the best,
so that everyone can move on and live their lives.
so that i can move on and heal myself.

have you seen me?

i always wonder what it would be like if i see him again.
i always wonder what would i do or how would i act if he's right there in front of me.
and i always thought that i would smile at him, wave or just plain look at him.
but today i found myself not doing anything.
not even close to what i imagined.
when i saw him, i panicked, i looked away and even turned my back on him.
and now i'm asking myself why am i regretting it?
because maybe deep inside of me i wanted to smile at him, or wave at him or just look at him and memorize the face that i was once so caught up with.
now i'm even wishing to have another chance to see him again.
and perhaps when that time comes, i'll be brave enough to do even just one of the things that i wanted to do.
or perhaps even do all of it at once.
there is only one thing that i wanted to know right now.
have you seen me?

pity me

i'm sorry for what all these is costing you.
 you must be dragged down along with her misery. i feel sorry for you. 
you must have the heaviest burden to bear of the three of us. 
but right now i want you to know that don't worry about me, i can take care of myself.
 i pray that she'll recover and get over it fast so that you wouldn't be weighted down for as long as you should. 
and i pray that she should have the insight as to what she should be doing to you and for you rather than think that she's the only victim.

time

it would take some time to forget about you.

it would take some time to unlearn what i feel about you.

it would take some time not to think about you

or wish that you are doing the same.

it would take some time,

but i guess that is all i really need.

i'm not a completely awful or bad person.

i'm just not perfect.

i know it's wrong to keep feelings for you,

but i know i will outgrow it,

i'll get over it,

i'll move on.